This is how I feel today:
Mushy giant friend!
Well here's to the kick off of my semi-weekly blog. Hoorah, bandwagoners!
Let's get straight to the good stuff. Today's post is about customers that I [strongly dislike] seeing at Kneaders. Don't get me wrong, I like my job and normally have a good time serving you folks, but occasionally we'll get a couple of these people who will drive anyone crazy. Here are a few of the customer types I [strongly dislike].
Dun dun dun duuuuun!
SEVEN OF THE WORST FOODSERVICE CUSTOMERS:
1. The Trashers. This customer is the guy that just leaves a freakin' huge mess. And I don't mean the little crumbs and straw wrapper bits lying around the table and floor. I mean a real, huge mess. I understand sometimes people are messy eaters, and that's okay. But when you play with your food, drop/spill things on the floor, throw things around, and make your booth look like a tornado had passed through, the least you could do is clean a little of it up yourself. We're obligated to make the place presentable to you guys. You're obligated to not trash our facility. Thanks.
2. The Hens. We love little old ladies. Love them. We love it when they come with their little party bags and reserve a little place for them and their friends and eat their cut-into-tiny-pieces sandwiches. So cute. What we don't love is the ladies who come in in wolf packs and chatter loud enough the back-of-house can hear them. No, Debora, we don't want to know about how you permed your poor Shih Tzu. These ladies can be so loud and chattery, you'd think they were in a coop laying eggs. And what's worse than a hen? The crossbreed wolf pack hens. (They wolf down their food, too, and stay an extra few hours.)
3. The Know-Your-Menus-Better-Than-You-Do's. These people will never come into the store; they always come through the drive-through. I suppose since they're too lazy to get out of their car, they must be too lazy to read our menu because we do not have half-sandwich half-salad combos. You're thinking of Zupas. And I understand that people don't memorize our menus. That's why we're there, to help you out. But when you come demanding what you decide should be on the menu done exactly the way you say it should be done and that I'm a terrible server because we don't sell chocolate chips in our pumpkin bread, then you need a reality check.
4. The Giant Groups. This is when there are 20+ in your group. I know what you're thinking, "Big groups aren't so bad, it's just a bunch of single people paying on one ticket!" But here's the problem: when we take a big group's food out to them, they forget what they ordered. Always. So when you're standing there with a TBA going, "Who ordered the turkey bacon avocado?" and no one realizes it was them for five minutes, it creates some problems. Moral of the story: if you're in a big group, remember what you order.
5. The Dissatisfieds. Sometimes when you go to a foodservice place, you'll find something less than satisfactory. It happens. No establishment is perfect. But please, don't order from us if you're gonna complain about every little thing you can think of. "You take too long." "Your sandwiches are too big." "Why don't you sell desserts without sugar?" "How come you can't make that a combo?" "There's a speck on my table you need to wipe off." "You let the top fall off of my sandwich." "One drop of soup fell off on the tray, I need a new bowl of soup." "I wanted five onions on my sandwich and there are only four."
6. The Mocha-chino-'spresso-single-extra-creamy-decaf-skinny-to 120 degrees-er. I'm from Utah, you can't expect me to have memorized every order modification from Starbucks. People will come in sometimes expecting they can get any coffee drink they can imagine. No. We're a bakery. You can't. And being that picky about what you eat isn't good, anyway. We'll also get people super specific about their sandwiches. Sure, we can take those tomatoes off, but when you start sounding like Bubble Bass from Spongebob, then go make your own sandwich.
7. The Daycare Center. These ladies will come in with millions of kids with messy habits and sticky fingers that I swear have to touch every inch of visible glass upon entry. I remember having to prove to my mom I was well behaved enough to eat out. But do other moms do that? Nope, let them jungle kiddies loose in the Kneaders to touch everything. And if you've ever been in a Kneaders, you'll know that we sell a lot of retail stuff as well. Little kids + fragile decorations = goodbye cute little ceramic cupcake holder. Not to mention the messssssssssss those little things make. Kind of like detested customer #1, only they're not so obligated to clean up after themselves. I say if you have a bunch of misbehaved kids you're going to take out to eat, bring the proportionate amount of adults to supervise. We're not your babysitters.
That's all I care to think up at the moment. There definitely are more obnoxious customers, but hey, it's time to go to work and deal with them instead. And now that I've got some of those frustrations out, I can focus on the customers I like and make me happy.
But this is it for today. Who knows, maybe I'll make a part two someday.
SOME. DAY.
Au revoir!
~Nicall of Duty
